The Year of Release

Well, the holiday season has come and gone and the new year is right around the corner. Seeing as I will be spending a majority of 2020 away from friends and family, giving up my idolized comforts and fully committing to ministry, you can imagine I’ve got a whole lot of mixed emotions going on. But y’all, I am pumped! Thank you so much for all of your support and for getting me here. I absolutely couldn’t have done it without my supporters, prayer warriors and listening ears :,)

For each new year that comes and goes, my family has a tradition of asking God to give us a word to meditate and focus on throughout the next 365 days. It’s an amazing way to allow God to prophesy over our lives and to receive just a small peak into what He has in store for our journey with Him. For 2019, God gave me the word release. And y’all, I’ve said it before but I’ll say it over and over again – He. Is. So. Faithful.

Over the past 12 months I have seen a whole lot of release in a whole lot of ways. Jesus so tenderly walked me through releasing control and perfection, forgiveness of myself and others, breaking off habitual sin and letting go of bad mindsets and unhealthy self-deprecation. I could write a small book on all of the ways this word proved true over the past year – it has been and continues to be such a blessing. At the same time, it wasn’t all butterflies and rainbows. 

The harsh truth is that letting go can be painful and scary and overwhelming.

Here’s the deal, Jesus already died for our freedom. Before the beginning, God knew exactly what you would be struggling with. He knew that you would struggle with that specific sin over and over, or that depression, or those self-deprecating thoughts, or (insert your struggle here). And as He picked up the cross and died for us, He broke the power of hell and the enemy. He took our sin, our pain, our struggle and gave us the key to victory! Victory is ours!

However, in our freedom, we also have the gift of free will. We have the freedom to choose what we do with that victory. Jesus broke off our chains and opened the prison door, but it is up to us whether or not we walk out of the jail that holds us. We can choose to open the door and run straight ahead wild and free into whatever the Lord has waiting for us; or we can pick up the chains and put them back on. A big part of what Jesus taught me this year is that prison can be comfy sometimes. The enemy tries his darnedest to give us a false sense of control and safety in routine. 

For years and years, I struggled with disordered eating. And I was comfortable. Although emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally I was struggling daily, I felt in control. And I claimed my struggles, slowly but surely making all of my battles my identity. MY disordered eating, MY unhealthy mindset, MY unhealthy body image. When God called me into a deeper relationship with Him, I would remind Him of my struggles as if He didn’t already know, using them as an excuse to stay away from whatever He had in store for me. Over the past few years, I attempted “breakthrough” again and again. I would venture to the door and look out at what God had to offer me, or take a few steps outside the prison cell for a little while. But almost like clockwork, when things got challenging, I would hurry back into my prison and and shut the door, running back to the comfort of my sin. It had been years since I had truly walked in freedom. There was always something that I was “dealing with” or “walking through” and I claimed it as my own. Now, I’m not saying that we won’t struggle with things in life. We will have to walk through struggles or abuse or pain because we live on a broken and lost Earth. The difference is in the mindset. Do I hand my issues over to God to fight the battle for me or do I hold on to them? Do I choose victory or defeat?

I realized something over this past year, I was afraid of freedom. What would it look to walk in victory from the very beginning? How would my life change if as soon as the enemy whispered lies in my ear I shouted back in triumph? How would it feel to know that I was victorious no matter how daunting the situation? That’s a different kind of life than what I was used to living. That’s kinda scary! That means there is nothing holding me back from a life that is all out for God. What would it be like living all out for God with no fear, no shame, no worry? God says, “it will be more beautiful, more challenging, more life-changing, more eternity driven than you could ever imagine. You will lose comfort but you will gain an eternity of joy, peace, love, kindness, safety in me and deeper relationship than you’ve ever known.”

So yeah, it’s scary, but it’s also beautiful and it’s our destiny. And the enemy is terrified. He spends all of his time just trying to distract us from realizing our full potential. He fights this meaningless battle with us because he knows that when we choose victory, he is done for. 

“Now you understand that I have imparted to you all my authority to trample over his kingdom. You will trample upon every demon before you and overcome every power Satan possesses. Absolutely nothing will be able to harm you as you walk in this authority. However, your real source of joy isn’t merely that these spirits submit to your authority, but that your names are written in the journals of heaven and that you belong to God’s kingdom. This is the true source of your authority.” (Luke 10:19 TPT)

So my friends, I encourage you to drop those chains. Run, don’t walk, out of that prison cell. Claim victory, speak truth over yourself, tell the enemy who’s boss and start fighting the battle with the knowledge that you’ve already won. Jesus has defeated the enemy, we are free to live a life all out for God. Victory is not something we have to strive for or work towards, it’s a choice. 

choose victory.